Soo…
perhaps coming home @ three in the morning three nights in a row was a bad idea? Cause my sleeping pattern’s incredibly screwed up.
It’s 2:14 am…why am i not asleep…ugh.
Dark Knight
Rinaldo booked off work today so we could watch the premiere at midnight last night. I’m not a huge fan of action (is Dark Knight classified as action?) or superhero movies but I figured I’d go for Heath Ledger. Gino & Sarah got there first at 9:30ish and got into line..we didn’t join them till almost an hour later, and eventually Sam, Chelsea & some other ppl they knew came. Eventually we got into the theater and took up an entire row, second from back. I was so impressed we were able to save that many seats, so far back with so many people running in =D! Though I think what happened was that they screened the movie in two+ theaters instead of the original two. It didn’t end until about 2:30 am so I didn’t get home till near 3ish =(.
This morning I was woken up by an unexpected phone call at 8:30, and than again at 9:30, which resulted in me having to go out for an hour.
I got home at 2pm and basically slept until now. I have such a headache….!
I’m supposed to go out tonight with girls from work but I’m really not in the mood anymore. I’m also not looking forward to going out again tomorrow night for the big “July Birthdays” party of everybody . I’ll still go, and I’ll probably have fun, but at the moment I just want to stay in and sleep forever =(
toronto =)
Headed down tomorrow night w/ my favorite girls & two of their boys.
Will most likely take four million pictures of everything from our feet to our food….?
UBER EXCITED!!
Working on my summer wardrobe =P
Birthday gift from Michelle:
In Green
Birthday gifts from Manh
This has pockets!!
Flowery Pattern for summer ^_^
Pretty Ring =P
(Nice? I picked them out =P)
Bought myself a dress @ Sirens today but can’t find a pic of it online….
Wow….
I’m anticipating Tuesday…nervous excitement and fear bottled together right now. I can’t hope too much in fear of disappointment and yet it’s all I can do at the moment…
Send me good karma!!
Gemini
I remember doing public speaking in sixth grade at St. Elizabeth. I decided to focus on the zodiac and took three classmates to use as samples to determine how closely they fit their zodiac personality. I know I used Rosella for the Taurus sign, but I don’t remember who else I got to participate in my little project. I’ve always loved reading up on my own sign and I’ve always felt that it describes me really well 95% of the time. Perhaps, being born near the cusp, I embody more deeply the Gemini traits 
Summmertime =D
I’m loving the sunshine!
Spent all weekend @ Mooney’s Bay.
On Saturday I went with my cousin Linda, my sisters Heidi & Cindy and Cindy’s two friends, Amy & Jenny.
The funny thing about Amy is that she looks more like me than my own sister. She’s been called Annie a few times by people who I’m assuming know me, even when she’s with Cindy. While I was living in Richmond, a guy stopped me in the mall to ask if I was Thi Ha’s friend, referring to Amy! I said no, but that I knew who he was thinking of =D A few months ago, Amy happened to be at the same club as me, and a guy I knew started a conversation with me, wondered off, and than tried to finish the conversation with her before realizing it wasn’ t me!!!
Sunday, I headed to Mooney’s again with my sisters, cousin and Manh. Hieu & Beta joined us later on…
In high school, I took a (quiet) stance against tanning. I was adamant about staying away from the UV rays, certain that one tanning session would cost me my life by cancer. I always preferred to stay in the peer chat room at school, instead of going with Rosella, Sarah & Viv to their tanning sessions down the street during third period spare.
Other than fears of tanning being life-risking though, I think I subscribed more to the asian ideals of light (viewed as clean) skin as opposed to dark (dirty) skin. Dark tans were sexy, whereas light natural skin was pure and sweet. I used to constantly warn Nina that she’d prematurely damage her skin and tried to persuade her to stop.
Now, I believe I’ve succumbed to peer/media pressure somewhat. When I reflect on how I tried on a dress at work and a co-worker told me I looked “awesome…except for your legs, you need a tan”…=/ Most of my girlfriends are darker than me, I began to feel unnatural somehow.
But than, I know women like Beta and Sze, girls who aren’t exactly ABC (Asian Born Canadian), grew up among other cultures (Vietnam & Hong Kong respectively), and actively seek out shade when under the sun in fear of getting the darker skin that the girls here will pay for at tanning salons.
So as I laid at the beach Sunday, with Linda and Cindy on one side of me, stretched out in next to nothing trying to absorb every bit of ray of sun, and than Beta seated next to me, who came late to avoid the afternoon sun, and trying to shield herself w/ larger bits of clothing, I couldn’t help but be amazed at the lengths we will all go to obtain whatever ideal of beauty we have, even if we have opposite methods of reaching it.
I found this awhile back…it’s truly awesome…and really, it makes me feel so ashamed as I believe in it, but don’t always have the will power to follow through. I love Sephora, I love getting together with my girls and playing “make-believe” as he says. The false lashes, the blush & bronzer for contouring, the wands for glossy lips. Even day to day…I want to present a “put-together” version of myself for others…is that incredibly wrong?
Adriel Luis
My glares burn through her.
And I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the essence of her beauty is, well, the essence of beauty.
And in the presence of this higher being,
the weakness of my masculinity kicks in,
causing me to personify my wannabe big-baller, shot-caller,
God’s gift to the female species with shiny suit wrapping rapping like,
“Yo, what’s crackin shorty how you livin’ what’s your sign what’s your size I dig your style, yo.”
Now, this girl was no fool.
She gives me a dirty look with the quickness like,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
so I’m looking at myself,
“Boy, you must be stupid.”
But looking upon her I am kinda feelin’ her style.
So I try again.
But, instead of addressing her properly,
I blurt out one of my fake-ass playalistic lines like,
“Gurl, you must be a traffic ticket cuz you got fine written all over you.”
Now, she’s trying to leave and I’m trying to keep her here.
So at a final attempt, I utter,
“Gurl, what is your ethnic makeup?”
At this point, her glare was scorching through me,
and somehow she manages to make her brown eyes
resemble some kinda brown fire or something,
but there’s no snap or head moement,
no palm to face, click of tongue, middle finger,
roll of eyes, twist of lips, or girl power chant.
She just glares through me with these burning eyes
and her gaze grabs you by the throat.
She says, “Ethnic makeup?”
She says, “First of all, makeup’s just an anglicized, colonized, commodified utility
that my sisters have been programmed to consume,
forcing them to cover up their natural state
in order to imitate what another sister looks like in her natural state
because people keep telling her
that the other sister’s natural state is more beautiful
than the first sister’s natural state.
At the same time,
the other sister isn’t even in her natural state,
because she’s trying to imitate yet another sister,
so in actuality, the natural state that the first sister’s trying to imitate
wasn’t even natural in the first place.”
Now I’m thinking, “Damn, this girl’s kicking knowledge!”
But, meanwhile, she keeps spitting on it like
“Fine. I’ll tell you bout my ‘ethnic makeup.’
I wear foundation,
not that powdery shit,
I wear the foundation laid by my indigenous people.
It’s that foundation that makes it so that past being globalized,
I can still vocalize with confidence that i know where my roots are.
I wear this foundation not upon my face, but within my soul,
and I take this from my ancestors
because I’ll be damned if I’d ever let an American or European corporation
tell me what my foundation
should look like.”
I wear lipstick,
for my lips stick to the ears of men,
so they can experience in surround sound my screams of agony
with each lash of rulers, measuring tape, and scales,
as if my waistline and weight are inversely propotional to my value as a human being.
See my lips, they stick, but not together.
Rather, they flail open with flames to burn down this culture that once kept them shut.
Now, I mess with eye shadow,
but my eyes shadow over this time where you’ve gone at ends to keep me blind.
But you can’t cover my eyes, look into them.
My eyes foreshadow change.
My eyes foreshadow light.
and I’m not into hair dyeing.
but I’m here, dying, because this oppression won’t get out of my hair.
I have these highlights.
They are highlights of my past atrocities,
they form this oppression I can’t wash off.
It tangles around my mind and twists and braids me in layers,
this oppression manifests,
it’s stressing me so that even though I don’t color my hair,
in a couple of years it’ll look like I dyed it gray.
So what’s my ethnic makeup ?
I don’t have any.
Because your ethnicity isn’t something you can just make up.
And as for that crap my sisters paint on their faces, that’s not makeup, it’s make-believe.”
I can’t seem to look up at her.
and I’m sure that such actions aren’t foreign to her
because the expression on her face
shows that she knows that my mind is in a trance.
As her footsteps fade, my ego is left in crutches.
And rejection never sounded so sweet.
thunderstorms, what!?
So I’m probably a little bit spoiled…
Had dinner w/ rosella and the gang @ Blue Cactus one night, than with the girls @ Green Papaya the next to celebrate my birthday, but I’m still disappointed the Waterpark was closed Sunday for me & Karen’s A(quafest)B(irthday)C(oalition)’s!
We’re trying to re-schedule for next month but we’ll see how things go….they were closed on sunday due to chance of thunderstorms, but it didn’t rain here at all…=*(
This month was crazy full of events…
Four grads (Nina’s Convocation, Rosella’s Convocation, Linda’s HS Grad, Heidi’s gr. 6 Grad) and sooo many birthdays!
June babies: Sarah, Steph, Steve, Karen & most importantly, ME lol =D
Jen & Gino are both doing their birthdays this Saturday…I’m probably gonna go to Jen’s thing first, & maybe try to leave mid-way to go to Gino’s wih Rosella.
I’m so happppy it’s summer!
July’s still a week away & already half-filled.
Schedule thus far includes:
july 1: possible pool party/bbq @ anh’s house
july 11-13: possible trip to t.o. to see felicia
july 26: possible raindate of Annie & Karen’s ABC’s @ waterpark
Montreal @ some point to see granny & seattle @ some point w/ michelle?
Camping in August. (i have absolutely no interest in camping though….)
HONG KONG in the fall..if there’s no job in the way =/
It’s my birthday =)
It’s almost 5AM…i can’t seem to fall asleep again. Maybe I’m too excited?
I can’t believe I’m 23…i pulled out my real (paper) journal to write, and the very first entry was made June 19, 1999, on my last day as a 13 year old. Time passes so quickly sometimes, have I made each day count?
My only wish this year is that I’m able to begin to work in my field of interest.
That wouldn’t be asking for too much, right?
Happy Birthday to me =)
Ow…
Went to BodyStep w/ rinaldo today…I could barely breathe 1/2 an hour in. After class, we hung out w/ gino for a bit but we peaced out once he started doing bench presses.
Now, I’m home & thought, since I put had just put in so much effort @ the gym, i might as well not waste it by eating junk. So I grab an apple, and next thing I know I’m sitting here with itchy/numb lips & a swollen tongue.
Yay to allergies >_< I don't know when I started having problems w/ apples...at first I noticed the itching, than last time my throat became itchy as well....the swollen tongue is new though =_='
So foods I cannot eat (but probably will anyways): apples, bananas, cantaloupe, honeydew, longan (!!!) & lycee (!?>_
“fruits & vegetables are good for you”…pffffft!
Anyways, Saturday night was fun. I met up w/ Michelle & Steph after work to eat @ Tuckers for Steph’s birthday. Afterwards, we went to Michelle’s to get ready & wait for Diza & Jen…than Helsinki, than McDonald’s, than pho..home @ 5ish =_=’
Woke up @ noon Sunday & Manh picked me up to have lunch @ Alirang. Halfway there it started pouring & we were both wearing flip-flops & shorts so we ended up being held hostage by the rain in their parking lot for 1/2 hour before we had the guts to run in =D
After that we went to Chinatown & bought crab. I lovvvvvvved playing with/torturing the crabs when I was young. You pick up the tongs & you poke at them to see which ones aren’t dead yet & which ones grab onto the tongs so fast with their claws you jump back & muffle a yell.
The crabs ended up pretty good, we had them with beta & hieu. They were telling me about Chico’s bday the night b4 @ Popcorn & the show Hieu & Cuong put on for everyone LOL. Too bad i missed out =P
Life goes on
One year ago today was the last day I spent with gary..my Convocation ceremony. He flew in from Vancouver that morning, organized how we were gonna get there and gave me Swarovski earrings as a gift. He bought me gorgeous roses after the ceremony for me to take pictures with. Afterwards, we went to eat dinner and he drove me home. Our last day was pretty sweet.
A few days later, the 16th, we met up to talk about what would happen. He would return to Vancouver, eventually China, and I would stay and he would send me all my stuff.
Dec. 16 2003 to June 16 2007, exactly 3.5 years and now, one year later I’m still a little sad.
I’ll never forget the hug we shared and the small smile he gave me before he drove off for good.
It’s been a year….
